227. Westies in ads

It seems perfectly sensible – and logical – to me, when companies use Westie dogs to help sell their products. Well, duh. Westies are the cutest, shnarfliest, wuffliest, bestest dogs in the whole wide world, so it obviously makes sense to hitch your wagon to their gorgeous little haunches.

Sadly, not all marketeers have cottoned on to this remarkably efficient, simple, strategy. They persist in using cute (?) children, handsome (?) boys and pretty (?) girls, when they could just use a Westie. They fly to Connemara, Vancouver, Bordeaux - when they could just use a Westie. They spend thousands on ad agencies and cynical, world-weary copywriters like me, developing cynical world-weary slogans that sound all fresh and hopeful and bubbly, when they could just use a Westie. Why? Why do they bother?

I think I've made my point.

I will open the floor out to other small dogs (particularly terriers, obvs) and the occasional larger hound as long as the first thing that crosses your mind when you see the pooch isn't 'big dog, big poos.' This thinking may be unique to me. I'm not sure.

So if you're thinking of starting a small business, or other commercial enterprise, I have a Westie for hire. She's not very white any more and she's almost entirely unpredictable where consistent behaviour is concerned, but she's a Westie, ergo she will help you sell your products. No, no need to thank me. You're welcome.

PS - She is afraid of her own farts, so remind me not to give her any veggies before the shoot or you'll need a contingency for overtime.