238. Cheeseburgers

This is surely too obvious to have been left until 238? Am I repeating myself? But no - don't think so.

It's so obvious I'm not sure exactly what to say. It's grilled or fried meat, in a roll, with melted cheese on top. If you're suffering from rickets or kwashiorkor I'll allow you to eat the salad they always put in cheeseburgers, otherwise you should take it out. Or order a salad.

I have yet to visit any of the 'cool' new burger places in London - Meat Liquor, Lucky Chip, etc. I would like to, as a good cheeseburger is hard to find, but I'm too old and grumpy to stand in a queue surrounded by twiglets who will only pretend to eat the burger. Maybe I could do a deal with a twiglet whereby she did the queueing and I did the eating? If she refused, I would just eat her. I like Twiglets.

Anyway. Home-made cheeseburgers are good as long as you are extremely specific about everything. You need a decent quality roll. You need decent quality meat (of course) - minced steak at very least or preferably minced chuck for a nice flavour. Don't muck about with the meat. You don't really need mustard/egg/capers/herbs mixed with the mince, but it's your burger so do what you want. Oil the meat, not the pan. Put cheese on meat as soon as you've turned it or it won't melt properly. YOU DO NOT NEED SALAD. Gherkins, onion, relish - up to you. Eat.

I don't see the point of Sliders. Why would you have a small cheeseburger on purpose? Baffling.

Do not eat cheeseburgers on a date. Did that in the very early days with Herself, and had to sit staring sadly at a burger I knew would be delicious, but I couldn't eat it in front of her. I did a lot of smoking and drinking in those days until I got over myself. She had no such concerns I remember, and cheerfully went on eating normally. She's good like that, is Herself. Imperturbable. I am irretrievably perturbed.