298. Christmas, according to my dog (with editorial by me)

When I can be bothered to stop sleeping on my dog-bed* in the big warm place* (*sofa, *living room) I will use my iPaw to go onto the Interwoof. I will go to Dogazon and buy the Shouty one* (*George) a chill pill and the One I Like Who's Never Here* (*Tracey) a map of Walberswoof. Then I will buy Auntie Anna some delicious dog treats that she can feed me, hopefully while I"m lying on my favourite dog-bed* (*Anna's bed) being tickled and crooned over for hours and never told off or shouted at or made to go outside if it's dark or cold, unless I want to go in and out and in and out and particularly just at the really good bit at the movie which always makes me Muttley* (*laugh, evilly) because they think I am so stupid but I am not.

Then lots of tasty* (*meat or cheese) will fall from the sky, preferably into my open mouth while I'm lying on my favourite dog-bed having my tummy tickled, then this will continue forever. I do not see why this should be limited to one day. THIS SHOULD BE MY LIFE*

*This is her life